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Everything I Need To Know, I Learned From 1980s Horror Movies
When it appears that you have killed the monster, *never* check to see if it's really dead.
If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had
previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had
inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house -- move away immediately.
Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.
Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to
you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a
lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
When you have the benefit of numbers, *never* pair off and go it alone.
As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
Never stand in, on, above, below, beside, or anywhere near a grave, tomb, crypt, mausoleum, or other place of the dead.
If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, *leave the room
immediately if you value your life.*
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