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Top Warning Signs of Insanity

Your friends tell you that you have changed lately, then you hit them several times with a sledgehammer.

You start out each morning with a 30 minute jog around the bathroom.
Every time you see a street sign, you have an urge to urinate on it.
You laugh out loud during funerals.
You begin to stop and consider all of the blades of grass you've stepped on as a child, and worry that their ancestors are going to seek revenge.
You have meaningful conversations with your toaster.
You like cats, especially with mayo.
You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.
You call up random people and ask to borrow their dog, just for a few minutes.
You try to make a list of warning signs of insanity, or even worse, try to add to this list of warning signs of insanity.

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