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The Head

Guys wife is about to give birth, so he goes off to the maternity ward to meet the new young one, and gets taken to the disabled ward..

He sees some deaf and dumb kids but none are his.. Eventually he gets introduced to his kid, who is only a head, with no body attached.. But him, being a loving dad, decides to rear the head like any normal parent would.. He goes through the happy, sad, elated, and etc..
Eventually the kid reaches is 18th birthday... So the dad decides to take him to the pub to have his first taste of the booze.. He gets to the bar, places the head on the counter, and tells fkn bartender..

"It's ma son's fkn 18th bday, give him the strongest drink that ya have.."

So the bartender pours him the strongest drink he has to offer, and suddenly the head sprouts a torso.. The dad, elated by the current events reckons to the bardude, "pour him another.", and soon after he sprouts arms.. euphoric and filled with emotion, the dad reckons, "pour him another", and low and behold the son sprouts legs... Amazed at the proceedings the son decides to run out into the street to celebrate his new found freedom, and gets run over by a truck..

Moral of the story?
Quit while your ahead.

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