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Stages of...
The Violent Drunk

Arrive in the pub, stare menacingly at everybody whilst scratching your shaved head.

Stand at the bar drinking premium lager, preferably Stella. Belch and slam down the glass after drinking the last of each pint.
Make loud offensive remarks, look around after each remark to see if anyone wants to make an issue of it.
After a few pints, take a trip to the toilet. Ask the bloke at the nearest urinal what he's looking at. Mutter.
Return to the bar looking fidgety. Catch someones eye and shout at them, 'wotcha lookin at, ya cahnt'.
At last orders, make your way to the nearest kabab shop. If someone gets served before you, punch them and drag them outside.
A severe beating is at last given, you feel inner peace and make for home.

next (work nights)

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