Ugly bloke walks into a pub with a big grin on his face.
'What are you so happy about?' asks the landlord.
'Well I live by the railway, and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks, I cut her free and we shagged all night.'
'Did you get a blow job?', asked the barman.
'No', he says, 'I couldnt find he head!'.
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