This will be the 3rd bucket of shiite I've sold on ebay - does this make me an official used car salesman/tw*t?
As you can see from the photo, the car is normally kept off the main road in a nice, secure location.
The photo was taken about a month ago when I made the rash decision of swerving to avoid a rabbit, whilst driving at the insane speed of 5mph. I've since had the car retrieved, fixed and then broken again. Unfortunately this is the only photo I have of the car, and I'm far too lazy to take another.
Last night, the timing belt on this beauty decided to snap. I sat for an hour at a set of traffic lights - looking like a total bell-end - waiting to be towed away by the same people who rescued me after the rabbit incident (they must think I'm a real cool guy). I've apparently broken all 8 exhaust valves, and it's going to cost 992 to fix (bargain).
As you can see, this car has had nothing but the upmost care taken with it. I'm not putting a reserve on the car, but the person who buys it (cause you will) will have to collect and get it fixed yourself. It has nearly a year's MOT, and is taxed till July or August time. In the time I've had it, there has only been one ginger in it, and no confirmed gays. It has a brand new exhaust. The interior is a queer buff colour and the boot - for some reason - has been covered with maroon carpet fittings. The winning bidder will also receive a deflated football, an empty milk carton, a finished bottle of engine oil and three out of date bottles of the world's cheapest fizzy drink (I think they may be called panda pop...), as these items are fixtures of the carpetted boot.
I can confirm that this car has not been tested on animals.
Above taken from ebay word for word.
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